The opening of the mind

Have you ever wondered what would happen if you could go back in time. I'm not talking about Doc Brown pulling up in the time machine or anything. We start learning from the time the doctor smacks our butt and we learn that it hurt. From day to day to minute to minute, we make decisions that could alter the rest of our lives. I think back to certain times of my life and wonder what if...

What would have happened if I did not go to this college and went to another one? Would I be where I'm at right now? Probally not, but I would like to think that it's my purpose to be here right now and maybe it will work out. People tell you to learn this and learn that, but for what? Well mainly because that's their jobs and they think that you need to know it. Don't you think I would learn it and retain more of the experience if I learned it myself?

What would happen if I said yes to that person and no to the other. Don't get me wrong. I have a job that I look forward to everyday. It's not glamerous and doesn't even pay that much. But it gives me self gratification. Most people cuss at me wish that I wasn't around but it makes it worth it when just that one person says an honest and heart felt thanks.

I think back to younger times and say that was pretty fun... but was it worth it? I was, what I consider to be, a good child growing up. I was most influenced by church. I look back and cherish that time that shaped my beliefs and morals and thank each person that helped along the way. So as I type I can't help but wonder if most people would change a small thing or a large event that altered their life.

I wonder about friends from the past and where they are now. Friends I haven't spoken to in days and in years. Friends that live half way around the country or ten minutes from me. They all have one thing in common though... I haven't spoken to them in a while and I don't know why.
Some I considered my best friends at the time. Where did our friendship go? Is it too late? Maybe fate will lead me to the answers.

I can't help but think that God has put me here for a purpose. I wonder if I will ever know what that purpose maybe? The only thing that I can hope for is that I am strong enough for that one moment in time... The existance and purpose for me... I guess I'll just have to wait and find out.